Sometimes we hear ourselves saying things to our children that we cannot believe. We think, what the hoover just came out of my mouth? But it’s not our fault. Our kids made us say it.
Here are just a few examples of things our kids have made us say:
“Get out of the dishwasher.”
“Sometimes mommies need to be far, far away and by themselves for a little while so they can be the best mommies they can be. So you stay here; I’m going to go bury my face in some blankets.”
“Put your penis back in your pants!”
“Are you eating hair off the ground? Stop eating hair!”
“No, fifty is less than seventy. Yes, I’m sure. We don’t have to argue about it … Okay fine. Fifty is more than seventy. Sure.”
“A piece of ham is not a HAT!”
“Don’t push your bums together in the bath!”
“Don’t suck on your sister! Or the cushion! Don’t suck on ANYTHING.”
“No, you don’t pee from your bum, and you don’t EVER barf blood from your face. Can we stop talking about this, please?”
“Are you licking juice off the driveway?”
“Stop dumping that on her head.”
“When you grow up you can’t marry your mommy and daddy, because we are already married. And … that is the only reason.”
“Please don’t hug that diaper.”
Did this list make you laugh out loud? Yes? Well, here are some more! Also, if you’ve got your own hilarious “My Kid Made Me Say It,” share it in the comments!