Hi. I’m Baby N. My Mommy was tagged by a friend to do the gratitude challenge* on Facebook, and she just kind of ignored it. She said that she’s “grateful” her friends won’t mind too much about that, but I think that she has a bad attitude about it, which is a little hypocritical considering how often she tells my big sisters they need “a check-up from the neck up.”
Considering that I have a good attitude about lots of things these days, except vegetables and people I don’t know and falling down, I decided that I would accept the gratitude challenge instead of Mommy.
Really, I am grateful for all the things. I like biting them, and crawling after them, and climbing over them, and banging them together. But please enjoy a few of the best things that I like especially much.
1. Every morning my Mommy or Daddy gets me from my crib where I am standing in a poopy diaper yelling “Uh-Oh” over and over because that’s my only word, and they come and change me and say, “Why are you up already?” Then they bring me into their bed because they hope to keep sleeping while I play nicely with a toy. But, instead, I like to stand up by the windowsill and pull on the blind and hit it and yank it and shake it. So then they OPEN the blind and this brings me to what I am grateful for: because do you know what is out there behind the blind every single morning, and always surprises me? The OUTSIDE! Every day! You can stand there, and look out at it, and hit the window while you look out there, and if you stand on Daddy’s head you can see it from a bit higher up, which is so amazing. I love the outside.
2. I am also grateful for the STAIRS. I finally figured out how to go down them so I don’t get stuck at the top anymore, and now I can go up and down, and up and down, all day. Mommy likes to play this game with me where she picks me up and carries me far, far away from the stairs, and then I get to make my way back to the stairs. Sometimes I just book it right back to them because I love them, and sometimes I go slowly so I can stop to play in the toilet water or pull stuff out of the kitchen cupboards along the way. But I always win the game because I end up back at my favourite place, going up and down, and up and down.**
3. BUTTONS! All of the buttons do something! I push them and they click or they beep or they flash or they make the TV stop or they make Mommy say, “No! You’re going to call 911!” Then when she takes the buttons away, I get to angry-yell until someone brings me something else interesting (or yummy!) to make me stop yelling. It’s so much fun!
To summarize, being a baby is great. Now, where’s Mommy? I want to eat something with a spoon that I insist on holding myself so most of the food can go into my hair instead of my mouth. Or Mommy’s hair, which is even funnier. I’m pretty hilarious, if you couldn’t tell. My sisters think so, too, even if my Mommy doesn’t always. Silly Mommy. So bye-bye for now!
*This is a thing where you post a Facebook status with three things you’re grateful for, every day for five days. My Mommy wrote zero things for zero days because she is a party pooper.
**My Mommy asked me to tell you that she knows about baby gates, but we have three floors and four children, and that is a lot of lifting small people over baby gates and she is doing the best she can, so you can just shut up about gates.