Hey! Let’s play a fun game. In each of the scenarios I will present to you now, one person is a four-year-old girl, and the other one is her mother. Who is who? See if you can guess. It may not be as clear-cut as you think … Or it might be. Let’s find out!
One of us walked upstairs this morning with her pants and underwear around her ankles, bent over in demonstration and explained that she would like her bum wiped, please. The other one of us woke up with a butt in her face.
One of us developed a chocolate milk beard and promptly became “Licky,” a chocolate milk delivery man. Licky explained to the other one of us, in a very serious man-voice, that it would be a good idea to provide her daughter with more chocolate. Just in general.
One of us wanted to go to the park, and the other one did NOT, and promptly removed her underpants in protest.
One of us became “Boxy,” the girl who lives in a box. Boxy introduced her imaginary sister, “Boxanne.” The other one of us immediately got the Police song (now entitled “Boxanne”) stuck in her head.
One of us wanted to not finish her dinner. Actually neither of us did, but only one of us got away with it.
One of us wanted Cheerios … No, oatmeal … No Cheerios! With milk … NO! No milk! Actually, yes milk. Actually no milk. WHAT!?! WHY DID YOU ALREADY POUR THE MILK IN, MOMMY?
One of us wanted to lie on the couch, just for two minutes. The other one wanted to lie on the person lying on the couch for two minutes, while playing with that person’s face.
Okay, clearly that little test was way too obvious. If you think you got the answers right, you probably did. Your prize is the knowledge that you (probably) didn’t wake up to a butt in your face this morning.