Jac Baby N
I wanted to write another post on mommy’s blog today because it has been a while! Hi everybody! Today I want to write a message just for all the other toddlers out there and no one else, mostly because I am a bit mad at Mommy. She won’t let me ride on her back like a horsie all day, she says she needs to take a turn brushing my teeth even when I won’t open my mouth, and when I am trying to put a puzzle piece in by MYSELF, she says I’ve got it upside down and tries to help me, but I don’t want her to help me and the puzzle piece WON’T GO IN SO HELP ME NO DON’T HELP ME. One time when I was screaming and trying to shove the stool across the kitchen so I could climb into the cookie cupboard, I even overheard my Mommy tell another kid’s Mommy that the “terrible twos” actually started earlier than two. I have a response to that hurtful comment, Mommy: “GIVE ME THE COOKIE!”
So toddlers, this message is for you. Do your parents try to put you to bed at night before you are ready? Do they think that because you keep asking for your soother and lying your head down on the floor you must be tired, when really you are only resting for a minute and they should actually turn on another episode of Paw Patrol? Then this tip is for you.
When they are putting you to bed, it is tempting to fight it, and fight hard. I know I do this. And you know what? Just go for it, because it will feel good. Thrash about when they want to put your pyjamas on! Roll over and cry and run away when they try to change your diaper! Ask for a cup of water and then throw it across the floor when they give you the wrong colour cup! (Why do they always DO that?) This is all important to do because they have to know who is in charge of this family. But I have started to wonder if these activities actually get us put into bed any later. It seems like whether or not you have an hour-long tantrum (so you should), they will still put you to bed.
My tip for you, toddler friends, is for AFTER you are in your bed. What is the best way to stay up later? If you continue to tantrum, they will trick you into calming down with stories and songs, and then suddenly they will be gone and it will be morning. If you cry and cry, they might stay with you, or come back in periodically, but they will get more and more frustrated with you, and maybe start saying those bad words they tell your sisters not to say, and that’s not fun and kind of scary. Plus they will put you down for an early nap the next day for SURE. So crying is not a very good idea once your bedtime has passed. I mean, still do it, of course, but only after you try my top tip.
So my top tip for staying up late is this: be adorable. If you are happy and talking, they come back and then they can’t resist talking to you. My best trick is to call, “Mommy? Daddy? Mommy? Daddy?” and then wait a minute, and then sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Daddy always comes up to hear that one. (And it’s great when Daddy comes up because he is very easy to trick into turning on a TV show. I really really love Daddy except when he tries to stand up or walk around or have a shower without me.) I have figured out that it also works to knock on the inside of your closed door (or maybe the side of the crib if you still haven’t figured out that those things are super easy to climb out of) and say, “Hello? Anybody home? Hello?” And then when they open the door, smile really big and say, “I stuck.” Mommy always laughs at that one. She sometimes picks me up then, and snuggles her face into my belly like I like, and then she will read me another story and lay down beside me so I can stuff my fist into her eyes and her mouth for a while because I love my Mommy so very much.
Wait. I hear something. Mommy? Did you accidentally say the word “candy?” Now I get candy! WHERE IS MY CANDY?