My husband’s parents are coming to look after my children for a week while I go on a much-needed, super exciting, delightfully relaxing vacation with my husband. I’m very confident in my in-laws’ abilities to care for my kids, and I know that my kids love their Oma and Opa, so I won’t really be too worried about my kids while I’m gone. However, over the last few weeks as I’ve been mentally preparing for this trip, I keep noticing things my younger children say and do that would be completely confusing to someone who isn’t with them all day long. Because toddlers make no sense. So this post can act as a translation guide for my in-laws. Thanks so much, you two! And … ummm … good luck?
1) Oatmeal and breakfast too?: Every night as N is going to bed, she wants you to stay and talk longer, and you want to leave so she can fall asleep. A helpful trick is to get her talking about the morning time, when you will see her next. I like to ask her what she wants for breakfast. She always asks if she can have oatmeal and breakfast, too. I guess she thinks that Cheerios are called “breakfast” maybe? I don’t know. But I DO know that you should definitely just agree with her and then leave. Of course she can have oatmeal and breakfast! Goodnight!
2) I want the yucky water!: This is also oatmeal-related. R and N both like oatmeal, and neither of them are super fussy about how it’s prepared as long as there is lots of brown sugar in it. However, they both THINK they are fussy. You see, sometimes I add cold water from the tap to cool it down faster. Sometimes I make instant oatmeal, which requires water from the kettle. For some reason, R insists on the “cold” water from the tap, NOT the “yucky” water from the kettle. Her contrarian little sister DOES want water from the kettle, so she will say, “I want yucky water!” until you pour some into her bowl, or at least pretend to. Listen guys. This is dumb and makes no sense. I just wanted you to know that it’s dumb and makes no sense so you’re not confused. It’s not you; it’s them.
3) Ariel’s dress changes colour: In the bathtub, the Ariel Barbie’s dress changes colour when it gets cold, which these younger kids just learned. One time, I ran it under the tap water in the sink for them while they sat in the warm bath. They thought that was a great idea and now they like to do it themselves, climbing out of the bathtub and standing on the stool by the sink. They are not allowed to do this, but they do it anyway. I just want you to know why the bathroom floor is soaked.
4) Tomorrow/soon/later: I can not figure out what’s going on with R’s confusion about time. Be prepared for having some version of this conversation regularly.
You: “Okay, we can do that soon.”
R: “Not soon! Later!”
You: “We can listen to that song next time we drive.”
You: “Or earlier, even! Later today!”
R: “No! Tomorrow!”
I have tried to explain that “later” and “soon” sometimes mean the same thing, and that tomorrow means the next day, but she doesn’t care. I have no advice on this, but I will tell you that I usually just agree with her.
5) Peanut butter spoon: If they ask for a “peanut butter spoon,” they mean a spoonful of peanut butter, because I don’t see any reason why this isn’t a perfectly good snack option. But when N asks for a “peanut butter finger,” that’s where I draw the line. I’m strict like that.
And that should do it! Just kidding; there are a hundred more of these. Unfortunately, its “FIVE on Friday,” not “A Hundred on Friday.” So, again, good luck! And have fun. See you in a week!