Unspeakable Stories from the McDonald’s Playplace

Here are five things that happened at the McDonald’s playplace that we will never, ever mention again. After this public blog post, of course.

1. That time that my toddler insisted she wanted to go into the playplace with her brother, but kept getting stuck in different parts of it and needed me, with my large, awkward, adult body, to climb in after her. More than once. That wasn’t enjoyable.

2. That time my kid peed in the playplace, and I had to climb into it to find the puddle, and then grab a bunch of napkins to see if I could clean it up, and then tell the other family there not to go in there, and then go and find a McDonald’s staff person to help me mop it up. And then stealing the bottle of cleaner from the employee to make sure that, not only was the puddle cleaned up, but also the route from the tiny doorway to the puddle, where little miss wet-pants had traveled on her way to show me what had happened.

3. That time my kid ate a nugget that had fallen on the floor. Of the MCDONALD’S PLAYPLACE.

4. That time I had my oldest child’s first birthday party at the McDonald’s playplace. I brought a cake and invited a bunch of people to buy their own children food, and I didn’t really have to plan anything except what time to meet and what cake to bring. This is unspeakable because of how some people would be embarrassed about having such a lazy and cheap first birthday party for their baby. I don’t brag about it to people’s faces.

5. That time when I took my son to the McDonald’s playplace for a mommy-son date when he was five. Things were going great, me sitting and playing on my phone, he running back and forth between the playplace and his orange juice. Who would have thought that this would go so wrong? Cut to him deciding he urgently needed to use the bathroom, cut to him running out of time and having diarrhea that was so voluminous that it ended up all over the floor, down the pants, in the shoes …. McDonald’s napkins are the least effective and absorbant cleaning tool ever, by the way. Also, I had no spare pants for my 5 year old, so I ended up just tying his pants to his legs so nothing else would fall out and scooping him up and sticking him on a towel in the car, and racing home to stick him in the bath. Fun times.

We saved the best for last, didn’t we? You’re welcome.




Don’t forget to check out these other Canadian bloggers and their FiveOnFriday posts:

  • If you’re interested in making life simpler, and also honesty from a nerdy mom of three, check out Shawna from Simple on Purpose.
  • Check out the blog that is basically all things in life at Eclectic Soapbox, because variety keeps it eclectic.
  • For tips on green living on a sensible budget with a smattering of parenting, ranting and raving, check out Judith at Juicy Green Mom!
  • Diane Welburn at Canadian Basics.
  • Paula at Product Junkie.
  • Local to Edmonton, this mom is blogging about a little bit of everything. Things to do with the family, a simple DIY, or life as a family of 5. Check out Christine at Just Another Edmonton Mommy.
  • Louise, of Surrey, B.C., shares about the reality of family life with some very energetic kids at Talk Nerdy To Me
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