Category Archives: Please don’t be cruel to me in the comments

I’ve Potty Trained Four Kids, and Here’s What I Know

By Jac

I’m delighted to report that my youngest daughter is completely potty trained. That is, she wears underpants all the time and I rarely have to remind her to go. So this means that I am DONE WITH DIAPERS for the first time in over eight years! Considering that she’s my fourth child, I feel I’ve learned a few things about potty training. Here’s what I know:

(NOTE: I’m not talking about that thing where you get your baby to use the toilet at four months or whatever. I have no experience with that and I have done no research, and I’m already finished potty training so you don’t have to teach me about it. It seems to me like it would be a ton of work for the parents for a very long time … but if you swear by this method, you’re welcome to tell my readers about it in the comments. But it’s not what I’m talking about here.)

1. Bribery works: Continue reading

Please Let Me Celebrate Mother’s Day

By Juli

A lot of tough emotions come up around Mother’s Day. Many people have a really difficult time when Mother’s Day comes around, for very good reasons. They can have lost their own mother, or one or more of their children – or lost the ability to be a mother. Some women have struggled with fertility issues for years, so mother’s day really pokes them in a sore place, emotionally. They may have a strained relationship with their own mom, or have faced abandonment from her. It is my utmost intention to be as gentle as possible to all people on Mother’s Day, knowing that it can be a dark day for some people, a day when they need gentleness, a day of mourning. For some, Mother’s Day is a bittersweet day, full of complex emotions. They may have both things to celebrate and things to mourn. Perhaps they have some children here on earth, and some in heaven, so they only get to hug half of their children on Mother’s Day. Continue reading

What You Should Never Say to a Friend Who Can’t Get Pregnant (When You Can)

By Jac

As you can probably guess by the fact that I had four children in five and a half years, I did not have much difficulty conceiving. However, two of my very best friends struggled for years to get pregnant, so while I would not want to give advice to someone who can’t conceive, I do feel qualified to give advice about what do to when your friend can’t get pregnant while you can. One really good friend of mine had been “trying” for a few years already when I had to tell her I was pregnant with my third child. And then she was still trying when I got pregnant with my fourth. This situation is obviously hard on a friendship, but we are still close friends. Here’s a list of things I definitely tried not to say during that raw and awkward time, and why I think you shouldn’t say them either.

1. “I’m pregnant!”
You know who will be happy to hear this wonderful news? Continue reading

“Food is best”

By Juli

I remember sitting in the hospital waiting room when I was heavily pregnant with my second child, waiting for my turn to become un-pregnant. They had booked my C-section for 8 AM, but, surprise, surprise, it was a busy day and I was bumped several times, so it was a while before they could even get me a bed in triage. So there I sat in the waiting room for 2 hours, my huge pregnant belly making every position in the pastel hospital chair uncomfortable, staring at the posters on the wall because I didn’t have a smart phone at the time. I remember that there was one poster about how smoking can lower the birth weight of your baby, and then approximately five posters about how “Breast is Best.” I’m not sure if you’ve heard of this campaign, but if you’ve ever been in a maternity ward you’ve probably seen a poster like this, emblazoned with the slogan “Breast is Best” and listing the benefits of breast milk for a newborn. At the time I was too uncomfortable to even contemplate this campaign, but I have had some time since then, and the conclusion I have come to about the “Breast is Best” campaign is rather simple: I think it stinks. Continue reading

Anti-Vaccinators, I Kind of Get It; A Note About Intuition

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The vaccination debate has officially become heated, and I’ve noticed that the pro-vaccine side, at least, has gotten ugly. This frustrates me for two reasons. First, it is needlessly cruel: most people who do not vaccinate their children came to that decision because they truly thought it was the best decision they could make with the information they had. Calling them cruel and accusing them of causing harm they did not intend will not have any impact other than more hurt. Second, it is not even effective: When in the history of disagreements has calling someone stupid ever convinced them to agree with you? Never.

So I want to say, as a person who is pro-vaccine, that I understand where some of you anti-vaxxers are coming from, and that I can see how I could have easily reached the same conclusions you have. Continue reading

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